The Break Down of the " Mom/Dad" Title

Yesterday I asked the question:

"Would you be offended if your child called their fathers/mothers significant other mom/dad?"  

The response's to this question was very informative, before I weigh in on my complete opinion of this subject I'll let you read some of the responses.

 "not really especially if they have been together for a while only people who are mad are the ones who want the other party back not cool to use the child"

"Well the first time I heard my daughter call her dad's wife mom I broke down and it wasn't because I wanted or want him back it's because I'm mom and it pierced my heart... I feel if the biological parents have an agreement first then it shouldn't be an issue but also it depends on the child's comfort in that person to call them mom/dad"

" When my son called someone else mom, it broke me down. You never can prepare yourself enough for that initial blow. Yes, when you and the father split u think of all possibilities but not that one. As the boy have gotten older, no it doesnt bother me THAT MUCH.... I feel in order for them to call anyone else mom the women is treating my kids fairly and with love and thats all I could ask for. I know that i am a damn good mother and its not taking from me as a mother."

" I wasn't ready to hear it I don't know for 6 years I've been the only mom then her dad comes back in her life married and has to call this lady mom so I guess at the time just wasn't mentally prepared"

 " I would not be... It takes a village to raise a child and Thankfully mines has me, her dad. her step mom and her step dad"

" My mom passed when I was 11...its hard to call my in laws mom because even til this day I feel like I'm taking something away from my momma. Its crazy...but its the way it is. I wonder if my children will feel the same way"

" Let me say this, i see it as disrespect by the parent, and the significant other to allow his/herself to be called that. It's like being shot, something you will never forget no matter how you try to accept it. It's gonna hurt for the rest of your life. Them fighting words. ijs"

" Bottomline, I only see this as okay if their is a marriage involved. A child calling their parent's boyfriend/girlfriend mom or dad is irresponsible, in my opinion. You are exposing that child to potential heartache if the relationship doesn't work. If there is no legal commitment there, I wouldn't gamble my child's emotions like that."

" if they’re married, it’s fine. But if they’re just dating then that all bad. She can be "Ms. Whoever" until/if they get married. As long as she knows that I am my child’s mother and she is just an accessory prior to, then assistance afterward, I wouldn’t have a problem with it."

" Hell yes. Because I am active in my child's life and I.Am.The.Mama!! Now, if I were an absentee dead beat."

" I believe that is up to the child, as one who has to deal with this issue now and being able to openly talk with my child about it, if she decides to call my or her fathers dad/mom it's fine with me, because she knows the difference and she recognizes who does care and provide the safety that she needs to sustain her happiness. All I can say is if this is an issue for you as a parent, talk to your child you may be surprised at what your is thinking and what comes out of their mouth, I at times am Amazed at the maturity level"

" I was in this same situation where my daughter was forced to call her step mom, mom. I feel it is up to the child her calling someone mom doesn't offend me at all. My issue comes with her being forced to say it. If she feels that someone is a mother figure to her & wants to honor them by the title go for it. That just means there is another person in the world who cares about my child. But if she doesn't feel that way & does not want to call someone else mom her feelings should b respected"

"  I feel it's up to the child and THEIR level of comfort. We as parents know who we are and the level of participation we have in our children's lives. I have this conversation with my son all the time and he knows it's up to him...."

I loved the feedback I got from this question and I respect every one's feelings and opinions on this matter, however I do disagree with the ones that say you should be married and the ones that gave an absolute NO. This subject hits home with me on a 2 levels. 

 Level 1. I was raised by my stepfather and have a relationship with my biological father, but my stepfather has been more of a father to me than my biological father and I address my stepfather as "Daddy" and feel no shame about it.

Level 2. My ex and I are currently no longer together and his children called me mom (on their own) and although the relationship is over I am still their "mom."

I think insecurity/security and pride/humility plays a major part in the comfort/discomfort of the parent that has a issue/non issue with the title of Mom/Dad being given to the significant other. If my ex has woman in his life that loves, cares, and nurtures my baby to a point of my child feels comfortable enough to call her mom, I'm all for it. My baby deserves any and  all the love and attention anyone wants to give her in a positive aspect.